Hard Cash  A matter of fact romance  By Charles Reade , D.C.L.  PREFACE  “ HARD CASH , ” like “ The Cloister and the Hearth , ” is a matter-of-fact Romance — that is , a fiction built on truths ; and these truths have been gathered by long , severe , systematic labour , from a multitude of volumes , pamphlets , journals , reports , blue-books , manuscript narratives , letters , and living people , whom I have sought out , examined , and cross-examined , to get at the truth on each main topic I have striven to handle .  The madhouse scenes have been picked out by certain disinterested gentlemen , who keep private asylums , and periodicals to puff them ; and have been met with bold denials of public facts , and with timid personalities , and a little easy cant about Sensation Novelists ; but in reality those passages have been written on the same system as the nautical , legal , and other scenes : the best evidence has been ransacked ; and a large portion of this evidence I shall be happy to show at my house to any brother writer who is disinterested , and really cares enough for truth and humanity to walk or ride a mile in pursuit of them .  CHARLES READE .  6 BOLTON ROW , MAYFAIR , December 5 , 1868.  PROLOGUE  IN a snowy villa , with a sloping lawn , just outside the great commercial seaport , Barkington , there lived a few years ago a happy family .  A lady , middle-aged , but still charming ; two young friends of hers ; and a periodical visitor .  The lady was Mrs. Dodd ; her occasional visitor was her husband ; her friends were her son Edward , aged twenty , and her daughter Julia , nineteen , the fruit of a misalliance .  Mrs. Dodd was originally Miss Fountain , a young lady well born , high bred , and a denizen of the fashionable world .  Under a strange concurrence of circumstances she coolly married the captain of an East Indiaman .  The deed done , and with her eyes open , for she was not , to say , in love with him , she took a judicious line — and kept it : no hankering after Mayfair , no talking about “ Lord this ” and “ Lady that , ” to commercial gentlewomen ; no amphibiousness .  She accepted her place in society , reserving the right to embellish it with the graces she had gathered in a higher sphere .  In her home , and in her person , she was little less elegant than a countess ; yet nothing more than a merchant-captain 'swife ; and she reared that commander 'schildren in a suburban villa , with the manners which adorn a palace .  When they happen to be there .  She had a bugbear ; Slang .  Could not endure the smart technicalities current ; their multitude did not overpower her distaste ; she called them “ jargon ” — “ slang ” was too coarse a word for her to apply to slang : she excluded many a good “ racy idiom ” along with the real offenders ; and monosyllables in general ran some risk of ' having to show their passports .  If this was pedantry , it went no further ; she was open , free , and youthful with her young pupils ; and had the art to put herself on their level : often , when they were quite young , she would feign infantine ignorance , in order to hunt trite truth in couples with them , and detect , by joint experiment , that rainbows cannot , or else will not , be walked into , nor Jack-o'-lantern be gathered like a cowslip ; and that , dissect we the vocal dog — whose hair is so like a lamb 's— never so skilfully , no fragment of palpable bark , no sediment of tangible squeak , remains inside him to bless the inquisitive little operator , etc. , etc. When they advanced from these elementary branches to Languages , History , Tapestry , and “ What Not , ” she managed still to keep by their side learning with them , not just hearing them lessons down from the top of a high tower of maternity .  She never checked their curiosity , but made herself share it ; never gave them , as so many parents do , a white-lying answer ; wooed their affections with subtle though innocent art , thawed their reserve , obtained their love , and retained their respect .  Briefly , a female Chesterfield ; her husband 'slover after marriage , though not before ; and the mild monitress the elder sister , the favourite companion and bosom friend of both her children .  They were remarkably dissimilar ; and perhaps I may be allowed to preface the narrative of their adventures by a delineation ; as in country churches an individual pipes the keynote , and the tune comes raging after .  Edward , then , had a great calm eye , that was always looking folk full in the face , mildly ; his countenance comely and manly , but no more ; too square for Apollo ; but sufficed for John Bull .  His figure it was that charmed the curious observer of male beauty .  He was five feet ten ; had square shoulders , a deep chest , masculine flank , small foot , high instep .  To crown all this , a head , overflowed by ripples of dark brown hair , sat with heroic grace upon his solid white throat , like some glossy falcon new lighted on a Parian column .  This young gentleman had decided qualities , positive and negative .  He could walk up to a five-barred gate and clear it , alighting on the other side like a fallen feather ; could row all day , and then dance all night ; could fling a cricket ball a hundred and six yards ; had a lathe and a tool-box , and would make you in a trice a chair , a table , a doll , a nutcracker , or any other moveable , useful , or the very reverse .  And could not learn his lessons , to save his life .  His sister Julia was not so easy to describe .  Her figure was tall , lithe , and serpentine ; her hair the colour of a horse-chestnut fresh from its pod ; her ears tiny and shell-like , her eyelashes long and silky ; her mouth small when grave , large when smiling ; her eyes pure hazel by day , and tinged with a little violet by night .  But in jotting down these details , true as they are , I seem to myself to be painting fire , with a little snow and saffron mixed on a marble pallet .  There is a beauty too spiritual to be chained in a string of items ; and Julia 'sfair features were but the china vessel that brimmed over with the higher loveliness of her soul .  Her essential charm was , what shall I say ?  Transparence .  “ You would have said her very body thought . ”  Modesty , Intelligence , and , above all , Enthusiasm , shone through her , and out of her , and made her an airy , fiery , household joy .  Briefly , an incarnate sunbeam .  This one could learn her lessons with unreasonable rapidity , and until Edward went to Eton , would insist upon learning his into the bargain , partly with the fond notion of coaxing him on , as the company of a swift horse incites a slow one ; partly because she was determined to share his every trouble , if she could not remove it .  A little choleric , and indeed downright prone to that more generous indignation which fires at the wrongs of others .  When heated with emotion , or sentiment , she lowered her voice , instead of raising it like the rest of us .  She called her mother “ Lady Placid , ” and her brother “ Sir Imperturbable .  ” And so much for outlines .  Mrs. Dodd laid aside her personal ambition with her maiden name ; but she looked high for her children .  Perhaps she was all the more ambitious for them , that they had no rival aspirant in Mrs. Dodd .  She educated Julia herself from first to last : but with true feminine distrust of her power to mould a lordling of creation , she sent Edward to Eton , at nine .  This was slackening her tortoise ; for at Eton is no female master , to coax dry knowledge into a slow head .  However , he made good progress in two branches — aquatics and cricket .  After Eton came the choice of a profession .  His mother recognised but four ; and these her discreet ambition speedily sifted down to two .  For military heroes are shot now and then , however pacific the century ; and naval ones drowned .  She would never expose her Edward to this class of accidents .  Glory by all means ; glory by the pail ; but safe glory , please ; or she would none of it .  Remained the church and the bar : and , within these reasonable limits , she left her dear boy free as air ; and not even hurried — there was plenty of time to choose : he must pass through the university to either .  This last essential had been settled about a twelvemonth , and the very day for his going to Oxford was at hand , when one morning Mr. Edward formally cleared his throat : it was an unusual act , and drew the ladies 'eyes upon him .  He followed the solemnity up by delivering calmly and ponderously a connected discourse , which astonished them by its length and purport .  “ Mamma , dear , let us look the thing in the face .  ” ( This was his favourite expression , as well as habit .  ) “ I have been thinking it quietly over for the last six months .  Why send me to the university ?  I shall be out of place there .  It will cost you a lot of money , and no good .  Now , you take a fool 'sadvice ; do n't you waste your money and papa 's, sending a dull fellow like me to Oxford .  I did bad enough at Eton . Make me an engineer , or something .  If you were not so fond of me , and I of you , I 'dsay send me to Canada , with a pickaxe ; you know I have got no headpiece .  ”  Mrs. Dodd had sat aghast , casting Edward deprecating looks at the close of each ponderous sentence , but too polite to interrupt a soul , even a son talking nonsense .  She now assured him she could afford very well to send him to Oxford , and begged leave to remind him that he was too good and too sensible to run up bills there , like the young men who did not really love their parents .  “ Then , as for learning , why , we must be reasonable in our turn .  Do the best you can , love .  We know you have no great turn for the classics ; we do not expect you to take high honours like young Mr. Hardie ; besides , that might make your head ache : he has sad headaches , his sister told Julia .  But , my dear , an university education is indispensable Do but see how the signs of it follow a gentleman through life , to say nothing of the valuable acquaintances and lasting friendships he makes there : even those few distinguished persons who have risen in the would without it , have openly regretted the want , and have sent their children : and that says volumes to me .  ”  “ Why , Edward , it is the hall-mark of a gentleman , ” said Julia eagerly .  Mrs. Dodd caught a flash of her daughter : “ And my silver shall never be without it , ” said she warmly .  She added presently , in her usual placid tone , “ I beg your pardon , my dears , I ought to have said my gold .  ” With this she kissed Edward tenderly on the brow , and drew an embrace and a little grunt of resignation from him .  “ Take the dear boy and show him our purchases , love !  ” said Mrs. Dodd , with a little gentle accent of half reproach , scarce perceptible to a male ear .  “ Oh , yes , ” and Julia rose and tripped to the door .  There she stood a moment , half turned , with arching neck , colouring with innocent pleasure .  “ Come , darling .  Oh , you good-for-nothing thing .  ”  The pair found a little room hard by , paved with china , crockery , glass , baths , kettles , etc.  “ There , sir .  Look them in the face ; and us , if you can .  ”  “ Well , you know , I had no idea you had been and bought a cart-load of things for Oxford .  ” His eye brightened ; he whipped out a two-foot rule , and began to calculate the cubic contents .  “ I 'llturn to and make the cases , Ju .  ”  The ladies had their way ; the cases were made and despatched ; and one morning the Bus came for Edward , and stopped at the gate of Albion Villa .  At this sight mother and daughter both turned their heads quickly away by one independent impulse , and set a bad example .  Apparently neither of them had calculated on this paltry little detail ; they were game for theoretical departures ; to impalpable universities : and “ an air-drawn Bus , a Bus of the mind , ” would not have dejected for a moment their lofty Spartan souls on glory bent ; safe glory .  But here was a Bus of wood , and Edward going bodily away inside it .  The victim kissed them , threw up his portmanteau and bag , and departed serene as Italian skies ; the victors watched the pitiless Bus quite out of sight ; then went up to his bedroom , all disordered by packing , and , on the very face of it , vacant ; and sat down on his little bed intertwining and weeping .  Edward was received at Exeter College , as young gentlemen are received at college ; and nowhere else , I hope , for the credit of Christendom .  They showed him a hole in the roof , and called it an “ Attic ; ” grim pleasantry !  being a puncture in the modern Athens .  They inserted him ; told him what hour at the top of the morning he must be in chapel ; and left him to find out his other ills .  His cases were welcomed like Christians , by the whole staircase .  These undergraduates abused one another 'scrockery as their own : the joint stock of breakables had just dwindled very low , and Mrs. Dodd 'sbountiful contribution was a godsend .  The new comer soon found that his views of a learned university had been narrow .  Out of place in it ?  why , he could not have taken his wares to a better market ; the modern Athens , like the ancient , cultivates muscle as well as mind .  The captain of the university eleven saw a cricket-ball thrown all across the ground ; he instantly sent a professional bowler to find out who that was ; through the same ambassador the thrower was invited to play on club days ; and proving himself an infallible catch and long-stop , a mighty thrower , a swift runner , and a steady , though not very brilliant bat , he was , after one or two repulses , actually adopted into the university eleven .  He communicated this ray of glory by letter to his mother and sister with genuine delight , coldly and clumsily expressed ; they replied with feigned and fluent rapture .  Advancing steadily in that line of academic study towards which his genius lay , he won a hurdle race , and sent home a little silver hurdle ; and soon after brought a pewter pot , with a Latin inscription recording the victory at “ Fives ” of Edward Dodd : but not too arrogantly ; for in the centre of the pot was this device , “ The Lord Is My Illumination .  ” The Curate of Sandford , who pulled number six in the Exeter boat , left Sandford for Witney : on this he felt he could no longer do his college justice by water , and his parish by land , nor escape the charge of pluralism , preaching at Witney and rowing at Oxford .  He fluctuated , sighed , kept his Witney , and laid down his oar .  Then Edward was solemnly weighed in his jersey and flannel trousers , and proving only eleven stone eight , whereas he had been ungenerously suspected of twelve stone , was elected to the vacant oar by acclamation .  He was a picture in a boat ; and , “ Oh !  !  !  well pulled , six !  !  ” was a hearty ejaculation constantly hurled at him from the bank by many men of other colleges , and even by the more genial among the cads , as the Exeter glided at ease down the river , or shot up it in a race .  He was now as much talked of in the university as any man of his college , except one .  Singularly enough that one was his townsman ; but no friend of his ; he was much Edward 'ssenior in standing , though not in age ; and this is a barrier the junior must not step over — without direct encouragement — at Oxford .  Moreover , the college was a large one , and some of “ the sets ” very exclusive : young Hardie was Doge of a studious clique ; and careful to make it understood that he was a reading man who boated and cricketed , to avoid the fatigue of lounging ; not a boatman or cricketer who strayed into Aristotle in the intervals of Perspiration .  His public running since he left Harrow was as follows : the prize poem in his fourth term ; the sculls in his sixth ; the Ireland scholarship in his eighth ( he pulled second for it the year before ) ; Stroke of the Exeter in his tenth ; and reckoned sure of a first class to consummate his twofold career .  To this young Apollo , crowned with variegated laurel , Edward looked up from a distance .  The brilliant creature never bestowed a word on him by land ; and by water only such observations as the following : “ Time , Six !  ” “ Well pulled , Six !  ” “ Very well pulled , Six !  ” Except , by-the-bye , one race ; when he swore at him like a trooper for not being quicker at starting .  The excitement of nearly being bumped by Brasenose in the first hundred yards was an excuse .  However , Hardie apologised as they were dressing in the barge after the race ; but the apology was so stiff , it did not pave the way to an acquaintance .  Young Hardie , rising twenty-one , thought nothing human worthy of reverence , but Intellect .  Invited to dinner , on the same day , with the Emperor of Russia , and with Voltaire , and with meek St. John , he would certainly have told the coachman to put him down at Voltaire .  His quick eye detected Edward 'scharacter ; but was not attracted by it : says he to one of his adherents , “ What a good-natured spoon that Dodd is ; Phoebus , what a name !  ” Edward , on the other hand , praised this brilliant in all his letters , and recorded his triumphs and such of his witty sayings as leaked through his own set , to reinvigorate mankind .  This roused Julia 'sire .  It smouldered through three letters ; but burst out when there was no letter ; but Mrs. Dodd , meaning , Heaven knows , no harm , happened to say meekly , a propos of Edward , “ You know , love , we cannot all be young Hardies .  ” “ No , and thank Heaven , ” said Julia defiantly .  “ Yes , mamma , ” she continued , in answer to Mrs. Dodd 'seyebrow , which had curved ; “ your mild glance reads my soul ; I detest that boy .  ” Mrs. Dodd smiled : “ Are you sure you know what the word 'detest 'means ?  And what has young Mr. Hardie done , that you should bestow so violent a sentiment on him ?  ”  “ Mamma , I am Edward 'ssister , ” was the tragic reply ; then , kicking off the buskin pretty nimbly , “ There !  he beats our boy at everything , and ours sits quietly down and admires him for it : oh !  how can a man let anybody or anything beat him !  I would n't ; without a desperate struggle .  ” She clenched her white teeth and imagined the struggle .  To be sure , she owned she had never seen this Mr. Hardie ; but after all it was only Jane Hardie 'sbrother , as Edward was hers ; “ And would I sit down and let Jane beat me at Things ?  Never !  never !  never !  I could n't .  ”  “ Your friend to the death , dear ; was not that your expression ?  ”  “ Oh , that was a slip of the tongue , dear mamma ; I was off my guard .  I generally am , by the way .  But now I am on it , and propose an amendment .  Now I second it .  Now I carry it .  ”  “ And now let me hear it .  ”  “ She is my friend till death — or Eclipse ; and that means until she eclipses me , of course .  ” But she added softly , and with sudden gravity : “ Ah !  Jane Hardie has a fault which will always prevent her from eclipsing your humble servant in this wicked world .  ”  “ What is that ?  ”  “ She is too good .  Much .  ”  “ Par exemple ?  ”  “ Too religious .  ”  “ Oh , that is another matter .  ”  “ For shame , mamma !  I am glad to hear it : for I scorn a life of frivolity ; but then , again , I should not like to give up everything , you know .  ” Mrs. Dodd looked a little staggered , too , at so vast a scheme of capitulation .  But “ everything ” was soon explained to mean balls , concerts , dinner-parties in general , tea-parties without exposition of Scripture , races , and operas , cards , charades , and whatever else amuses society without perceptibly sanctifying it .  All these , by Julia 'saccount , Miss Hardie had renounced , and was now denouncing ( with the young the latter verb treads on the very heels of the former ) .  “ And , you know , she is a district visitor .  ”  This climax delivered , Julia stopped short , and awaited the result .  Mrs. Dodd heard it all with quiet disapproval and cool incredulity .  She had seen so many young ladies healed of many young enthusiasms by a wedding ring .  But , while she was searching diligently in her mine of ladylike English — mine with plenty of water in it , begging her pardon — for expressions to convey inoffensively , and roundabout , her conviction that Miss Hardie was a little , furious simpleton , the post came and swept the subject away in a moment .  Two letters ; one from Calcutta , one from Oxford .  They came quietly in upon one salver , and were opened and read with pleasurable interest , but without surprise , or misgiving ; and without the slightest foretaste of their grave amid singular consequences .  Rivers deep and broad start from such little springs .  David 'sletter was of unusual length for him .  The main topics were , first , the date and manner of his return home .  His ship , a very old one , had been condemned in port : and he was to sail a fine new teak-built vessel , the Agra , as far as the Cape ; where her captain , just recovered from a severe illness , would come on board , and convey her and him to England .  In future , Dodd was to command one of the Company 'slarge steamers to Alexandria and back .  “ It is rather a come-down for a sailor , to go straight ahead like a wheelbarrow in all weathers with a steam-pot and a crew of coalheavers .  But then I shall not be parted from my sweetheart such long dreary spells as I have been thus twenty years , my dear love : so is it for me to complain ?  ”  The second topic was pecuniary ; the transfer of their savings from India , where interest was higher than at home , but the capital not so secure .  And the third was ardent and tender expressions of affection for the wife and children he adored .  These effusions of the heart had no separate place , except in my somewhat arbitrary analysis of the honest sailor 'sletter ; they were the under current .  Mrs. Dodd read part of it out to Julia ; in fact all but the money matter : that concerned the heads of the family more immediately ; and Cash was a topic her daughter did not understand , nor care about .  And when Mrs. Dodd had read it with glistening eyes , she kissed it tenderly , and read it all over again to herself , and then put it into her bosom as naively as a milkmaid in love .  Edward 'sletter was short enough , and Mrs. Dodd allowed Julia to read it to her , which she did with panting breath , and glowing cheeks , and a running fire of comments .  “ ' Dear Mamma , I hope you and Ju are quite well — — '”  “ Ju , ” murmured Mrs. Dodd plaintively .  “ ' And that there is good news about papa coming home .  As for me , I have plenty on my hands just now ; all this term I have been ( ' training ' scratched out , and another word put in : C — R — oh , I know ) 'cramming .  ' ”  “ 'Cramming , ' love ?  ”  “ Yes , that is the Oxfordish for studying .  ”  “ '— For smalls .  ' ”  Mrs. Dodd contrived to sigh interrogatively .  Julia , who understood her every accent , reminded her that “ smalls ” was the new word for “ little go .  ”  “ '— Cramming for smalls ; and now I am in two races at Henley , and that rather puts the snaffie on reading and gooseberry pie ' ( Goodness me ) , ' and adds to my chance of being ploughed for smalls .  ' ”  “ What does it all mean ?  ” inquired mamma , “ 'gooseberry pie '?  and ' the snaffle '?  and ' ploughed ' ?  ”  “ Well , the gooseberry pie is really too deep for me : but ' ploughed ' is the new Oxfordish for ' plucked .  ' O mamma , have you forgotten that ?  ' Plucked ' was vulgar , so now they are ' ploughed .  ' ' For smalls ; but I hope I shall not be , to vex you and Puss .  ' ”  “ Heaven forbid he should be so disgraced !  But what has the cat to do with it ?  ”  “ Nothing on earth .  Puss ?  that is me .  How dare he ?  Did I not forbid all these nicknames and all this Oxfordish , by proclamation , last Long .  ”  “ Last Long ?  ”  “ Hem !  last protracted vacation .  ”  “ '— Dear mamma , sometimes I cannot help being down in the mouth , ' ( why , it is a string of pearls ) ' to think you have not got a son like Hardie .  ' ” At this unfortunate reflection it was Julia 'sturn to suffer .  She deposited the letter in her lap , and fired up .  “ Now , have not I cause to hate , and scorn , and despise le petit Hardie ?  ”  “ Julia !  ”  “ I mean to dislike with propriety , and gently to abominate — Mr. Hardie , junior .  ”  “ '— Dear mamma , do come to Henley on the tenth , you and Ju .  The university eights will not be there , but the head boats of the Oxford and Cambridge river will ; and the Oxford head boat is Exeter , you know ; and I pull Six .  ' ”  “ Then I am truly sorry to hear it ; my poor boy will overtask his strength ; and how unfair of the other young gentlemen ; it seems ungenerous ; unreasonable ; my poor child against so many .  ”  “ '— And I am entered for the sculls as well , and if you and “ the Impetuosity ” '( Vengeance !  ) ' were looking on from the bank , I do think I should be lucky this time .  Henley is a long way from Barkington , but it is a pretty place ; all the ladies admire it , and like to see both the universities out and a stunning race .  ' Oh , well , there is an epithet .  One would think thunder was going to race lightning , instead of Oxford Cambridge .  ”  “ '— If you can come , please write , and I will get you nice lodgings ; I will not let you go to a noisy inn .  Love to Julia and no end of kisses to my pretty mamma .  — From your affectionate Son ,  They wrote off a cordial assent , and reached Henley in time to see the dullest town in Europe ; and also to see it turn one of the gayest in an hour or two ; so impetuously came both the universities pouring into it — in all known vehicles that could go their pace — by land and water .  CHAPTER I  IT was a bright hot day in June .  Mrs. Dodd and Julia sat half reclining , with their parasols up , in an open carriage , by the brink of the Thames at one of its loveliest bends .  About a furlong up stream a silvery stone bridge , just mellowed by time , spanned the river with many fair arches .  Through these the coming river peeped sparkling a long way above , then came meandering and shining down ; loitered cool and sombre under the dark vaults , then glistened on again crookedly to the spot where sat its two fairest visitors that day ; but at that very point flung off its serpentine habits , and shot straight away in a broad stream of scintillating water a mile long , down to an island in mid-stream : a little fairy island with old trees , and a white temple .  To curl round this fairy isle the broad current parted , and both silver streams turned purple in the shade of the grove ; then winded and melted from the sight .  This noble and rare passage of the silvery Thames was the Henley racecourse .  The starting-place was down at the island , and the goal was up at a point in the river below the bridge , but above the bend where Mrs. Dodd and Julia sat , unruffled by the racing , and enjoying luxuriously the glorious stream , the mellow bridge crowded with carriages — whose fair occupants stretched a broad band of bright colour above the dark figures clustering on the battlements — and the green meadows opposite with the motley crowd streaming up and down .  Nor was that sense , which seems especially keen and delicate in women , left unregaled in the general bounty of the time .  The green meadows on the opposite bank , and the gardens at the back of our fair friends , flung their sweet fresh odours at their liquid benefactor gliding by ; and the sun himself seemed to burn perfumes , and the air to scatter them , over the motley merry crowd , that bright , hot , smiling , airy day in June .  Thus tuned to gentle enjoyment , the fair mother and her lovely daughter leaned back in a delicious languor proper to their sex , and eyed with unflagging though demure interest , and furtive curiosity , the wealth of youth , beauty , stature , agility , gaiety , and good temper , the two great universities had poured out upon those obscure banks ; all dressed in neat but easy-fitting clothes , cut in the height of ' the fashion ; or else in jerseys white or striped , and flannel trousers , and straw hats , or cloth caps of bright and various hues ; betting , strolling , laughing , chaffing , larking , and whirling stunted bludgeons at Aunt Sally .  But as for the sport itself they were there to see , the center of all these bright accessories , “ The Racing , ” my ladies did not understand it , nor try , nor care a hook-and-eye about it .  But this mild dignified indifference to the main event received a shock at 2 p. m .  : for then the first heat for the cup came on , and Edward was in it .  So then Racing became all in a moment a most interesting pastime — an appendage to Loving .  He left to join his crew .  And , soon after , the Exeter glided down the river before their eyes , with the beloved one rowing quietly in it : his jersey revealed not only the working power of his arms , as sunburnt below the elbow as a gipsy 's, and as corded above as a blacksmith 's, but also the play of the great muscles across his broad and deeply indented chest : his oar entered the water smoothly , gripped it severely , then came out clean , and feathered clear and tunably on the ringing rowlock : the boat jumped and then glided , at each neat , easy , powerful stroke .  “ Oh , how beautiful and strong he is !  ” cried Julia .  “ I had no idea .  ”  Presently the competitor for this heat came down : the Cambridge boat , rowed by a fine crew in broad-striped jerseys .  “ Oh , dear ” said Julia , “ they are odious and strong in this boat too .  I wish I was in it — with a gimlet ; he should win , poor boy .  ”  Which corkscrew staircase to Honour being inaccessible , the race had to be decided by two unfeminine trifles called “ Speed ” and “ Bottom .  ”  Few things in this vale of tears are more worthy a pen of fire than an English boat-race is , as seen by the runners ; of whom I have often been one .  But this race I am bound to indicate , not describe ; I mean , to show how it appeared to two ladies seated on the Henley side of the Thames , nearly opposite the winning-post .  These fair novices then looked all down the river , and could just discern two whitish streaks on the water , one on each side the little fairy isle , and a great black patch on the Berkshire bank .  The threatening streaks were the two racing boats : the black patch was about a hundred Cambridge and Oxford men , ready to run and hallo with the boats all the way , or at least till the last puff of wind should be run plus halloed out of their young bodies .  Others less fleet and enduring , but equally clamorous , stood in knots at various distances , ripe for a shorter yell and run when the boats should come up to them .  Of the natives and country visitors , those who were not nailed down by bounteous Fate ebbed and flowed up and down the bank , with no settled idea but of getting in the way as much as possible , and of getting knocked into the Thames as little as might be .  There was a long uneasy suspense .  At last a puff of smoke issued from a pistol down at the island ; two oars seemed to splash into the water from each white streak ; and the black patch was moving ; so were the threatening streaks .  Presently was heard a faint , continuous , distant murmur , and the streaks began to get larger , and larger , and larger ; and the eight splashing oars looked four instead of two .  Every head was now turned down the river .  Groups hung craning over it like nodding bulrushes .  Next the runners were swelled by the stragglers they picked up ; so were their voices ; and on came the splashing oars and roaring lungs .  Now the colours of the racing jerseys peeped distinct .  The oarsmen 'sheads and bodies came swinging back like one , and the oars seemed to lash the water savagely , like a connected row of swords , and the spray squirted at each vicious stroke .  The boats leaped and darted side by side , and , looking at them in front , Julia could not say which was ahead .  On they came nearer and nearer , with hundreds of voices vociferating “ Go it , Cambridge ” “ Well pulled , Oxford !  ” “ You are gaining , hurrah !  ” “ Well pulled Trinity !  ” “ Hurrah !  ” “ Oxford !  ” “ Cambridge !  ” “ Now is your time , Hardie ; pick her up !  ” “ Oh , well pulled , Six !  ” “ Well pulled , Stroke !  ” “ Up , up !  lift her a bit !  ” “ Cambridge !  ” “ Oxford !  ” “ Hurrah !  ”  At this Julia turned red and pale by turns .  “ O mamma !  ” said she , clasping her hands and colouring high , “ would it be very wrong if I was to pray for Oxford to win ?  ”  Mrs. Dodd had a monitory finger ; it was on her left hand ; she raised it ; and that moment , as if she had given a signal , the boats , fore-shortened no longer , shot out to treble the length they had looked hitherto , and came broadside past our palpitating fair , the elastic rowers stretched like greyhounds in a chase , darting forward at each stroke so boldly they seemed flying out of the boats , and surging back as superbly , an eightfold human wave : their nostrils all open , the lips of some pale and glutinous , their white teeth all clenched grimly , their young eyes all glowing , their supple bodies swelling , the muscles writhing beneath their jerseys , and the sinews starting on each bare brown arm ; their little shrill coxswains shouting imperiously at the young giants , and working to and fro with them , like jockeys at a finish ; nine souls and bodies flung whole into each magnificent effort ; water foaming and flying , rowlocks ringing , crowd running , tumbling , and howling like mad ; and Cambridge a boat 'snose ahead .  They had scarcely passed our two spectators , when Oxford put on a furious spurt , and got fully even with the leading boat .  There was a louder roar than ever from the bank .  Cambridge spurted desperately in turn , and stole those few feet back ; and so they went fighting every inch of water .  Bang !  A cannon on the bank sent its smoke over both competitors ; it dispersed in a moment , and the boats were seen pulling slowly towards the bridge — Cambridge with four oars , Oxford with six , as if that gum had winged them both .  The race was over .  But who had won our party could not see , and must wait to learn .  A youth , adorned with a blue and yellow rosette , cried out , in the hearing of Mrs. Dodd , “ I say , they are properly pumped , both crews are : ” then , jumping on to a spoke of her carriage-wheel , with a slight apology , he announced that two or three were shut up in the Exeter .  The exact meaning of these two verbs passive was not clear to Mrs. Dodd ; but their intensity was .  She fluttered , and wanted to go to her boy and nurse him , and turned two most imploring eyes on Julia , and Julia straightway kissed her with gentle vehemence , and offered to ruin and see .  “ What , amongst all those young gentlemen , love ?  I fear that would not be proper .  See , all the ladies remain apart .  ” So they kept quiet and miserable , after the manner of females .  Meantime the Cantab 'squick eye had not deceived him ; in each racing boat were two young gentlemen leaning collapsed over their oars ; and two more , who were in a cloud , and not at all clear whether they were in this world still , or in their zeal had pulled into a better .  But their malady was not a rare one in racing boats , and the remedy always at hand : it combined the rival systems ; Thames was sprinkled in their faces — Homoeopathy : and brandy in a teaspoon trickled down their throats — Allopathy : youth and spirits soon did the rest ; and , the moment their eyes opened , their mouths opened ; and , the moment their mouths opened , they fell a chaffing .  Mrs. Dodd 'sanxiety and Julia 'swere relieved by the appearance of Mr. Edward , in a tweed shooting-jacket sauntering down to them , hands in his pockets , and a cigar in his mouth , placidly unconscious of their solicitude on his account .  He was received with a little guttural cry of delight ; the misery they had been in about him was duly concealed from him by both , and Julia asked him warmly who had won .  “ Oh , Cambridge .  ”  “ Cambridge !  Why , then you are beaten ?  ”  “ Rather .  ” ( Puff .  )  “ And you can come here with that horrible calm , and cigar , owning defeat , and puffing tranquillity , with the same mouth .  Mamma , we are beaten .  Beaten !  actually .  ”  “ Never mind , ” said Edward kindly ; “ you have seen a capital race , the closest ever known on this river ; and one side or other must lose .  ”  “ And if they did not quite win , they very nearly did , ” observed Mrs. Dodd composedly ; then , with heartfelt content , “ He is not hurt , and that is the main thing .  ”  “ Well , my Lady Placid , and Mr. Imperturbable , I am glad neither of your equanimities is disturbed ; but defeat is a Bitter Pill to me .  ”  Julia said this in her earnest voice , and drawing her scarf suddenly round her , so as almost to make it speak , digested her Bitter Pill in silence .  During which process several Exeter men caught sight of Edward , and came round him , and an animated discussion took place .  They began with asking him how it had happened , and , as he never spoke in a hurry , supplied him with the answers .  A stretcher had broken in the Exeter ?  No , but the Cambridge was a much better built boat , and her bottom cleaner .  The bow oar of the Exeter was ill , and not fit for work .  Each of these solutions was advanced and combated in turn , and then all together .  At last the Babel lulled , and Edward was once more appealed to .  “ Well , I will tell you the real truth , ” said he , “ how it happened .  ” ( Puff .  )  There was a pause of expectation , for the young man 'stone was that of conviction , knowledge , and authority .  “ The Cambridge men pulled faster than we did .  ” ( Puff .  )  The hearers stared and then laughed .  “ Come , old fellows , ” said Edward , “ never win a boat-race on dry land !  That is such a plain thing to do ; gives the other side the laugh as well as the race .  I have heard a stretcher or two told , but I saw none broken .  ( Puff .  ) Their boat is the worst I ever saw ; it dips every stroke .  ( Puff .  ) Their strength lies in the crew .  It was a good race and a fair one .  Cambridge got a lead and kept it .  ( Puff .  ) They beat us a yard or two at rowing ; but hang it all , do n't let them beat us at telling the truth , not by an inch .  ” ( Puff .  )  “ All right , old fellow !  ” was now the cry .  One observed , however , that Stroke did not take the matter so coolly as Six ; for he had shed a tear getting out of the boat .  “ Shed a fiddlestick !  ” squeaked a little sceptic .  “ No ” said another , “ he did n't quite shed it ; his pride would n't let him .  ”  “ So he decanted it , and put it by for supper , suggested Edward , and puffed .  “ None of your chaff , Six .  He had a gulp or two , and swallowed the rest by main force .  ”  “ Do n't you talk : you can swallow anything , it seems .  ” ( Puff .  )  “ Well , I believe it , ” said one of Hardie 'sown set .  “ Dodd does n't know him as we do .  Taff Hardie ca n't bear to be beat .  ”  When they were gone , Mrs. Dodd observed , “ Dear me !  what if the young gentleman did cry a little , it was very excusable ; after such great exertions it was disappointing , mortifying .  I pity him for one , and wish he had his mother alive and here , to dry them .  ”  “ Mamma , it is you for reading us , ” cried Edward , slapping his thigh .  “ Well , then , since you can feel for a fellow , Hardie was a good deal cut up .  You know the university was in a manner beaten , and he took the blame .  He never cried ; that was a cracker of those fellows .  But he did give one great sob , that was all , and hung his head on one side a moment .  But then he fought out of it directly , like a man ; and there was an end of it , or ought to have been .  Hang chatterboxes !  ”  “ And what did you say to console him , Edward ?  ” inquired Julia warmly .  “ What — me ?  Console my senior , and my Stroke ?  No , thank you .  ”  At this thunderbolt of etiquette both ladies kept their countenances this was their muscular feat that day — and the racing for the sculls came on : six competitors , two Cambridge , three Oxford , one London .  The three heats furnished but one good race , a sharp contest between a Cambridge man and Hardie , ending in favour of the latter ; the Londoner walked away from his opponent ; Sir Imperturbable 'scompetitor was impetuous , and ran into him in the first hundred yards ; Sir I .  consenting calmly .  The umpire , appealed to on the spot , decided that it was a foul , Mr. Dodd being in his own water .  He walked over the course , and explained the matter to his sister , who delivered her mind thus —  “ Oh !  if races are to be won by going slower than the other , we may shine yet : only , I call it Cheating , not Racing .  ”  He smiled unmoved ; she gave her scarf the irony twist , and they all went to dinner .  The business recommenced with a race between a London boat and the winner ' of yesterday 'sheat , Cambridge .  Here the truth of Edward 'sremark appeared .  The Cambridge boat was too light for the men , and kept burying her hose ; the London craft , under a heavy crew , floated like a cork .  The Londoners soon found out their advantage , and , overrating it , steered into their opponents water prematurely , in spite of a warning voice from the bank .  Cambridge saw , and cracked on for a foul ; and for about a minute it was anybody 'srace .  But the Londoners pulled gallantly , and just scraped clear ahead .  This peril escaped , they kept their backs straight and a clear lead to the finish .  Cambridge followed a few feet in their wake , pulling wonderfully fast to the end , but a trifle out of form , and much distressed .  At this both universities looked blue , their humble aspiration being , first to beat off all the external world , and then tackle each other for the prize .  Just before Edward left his friends for “ the sculls , ” the final heat , a note was brought to him .  He ran his eye over it , and threw it open into his sister 'slap .  The ladies read it .  Its writer had won a prize poem , and so now is our time to get a hint for composition :  “ DEAR SIR , — Oxford must win something . Suppose we go in for these sculls . You are a horse that can stay ; Silcock is hot for the lead at starting , I hear ; so I mean to work him out of wind ; then you can wait on us , and pick up the race . My head is not well enough to-day to win , but I am good to pump the Cockney ; he is quick , but a little stale — Yours truly , “ ALFRED HARDIE ”  Mrs. Dodd remarked that the language was sadly figurative ; but she hoped Edward might be successful in spite of his correspondent 'sstyle .  Julia said she did not dare hope it .  “ The race is not always to the slowest and the dearest .  ” This was in allusion to yesterday 's“ foul .  ”  The skiffs started down at the island , and , as they were longer coming up than the eight oars , she was in a fever for nearly ten minutes .  At last , near the opposite bank , up came the two leading skiffs struggling , both men visibly exhausted — Silcock ahead , but his rudder overlapped by Hardie 'sbow ; each in his own water .  “ We are third , ” sighed Julia , and turned her head away from the river sorrowfully .  But only for a moment , for she felt Mrs. Dodd start and press her arm ; and lo !  Edward 'sskiff was shooting swiftly across from their side of the river .  He was pulling just within himself , in beautiful form , and with far more elasticity than the other two had got left .  As he passed his mother and sister , his eyes seemed to strike fire , and he laid out all his powers , and went at the leading skiffs hand over head .  There was a yell of astonishment and delight from both sides of the Thames .  He passed Hardie , who upon that relaxed his speed .  In thirty seconds more he was even with Silcock .  Then came a keen struggle : but the new comer was “ the horse that could stay : ” he drew steadily ahead , and the stern of his boat was in a line with Silcock 'sperson when the gun fired ; and a fearful roar from the bridge , the river , and the banks , announced that the favourite university had picked up the sculls in the person of Dodd of Exeter .  In due course he brought the little silver sculls , and pinned them on his mother .  While she and Julia were telling him how proud they were , and how happy they should be , but for their fears that he would hurt himself , beating gentlemen ever so much older than himself , came two Exeter men with wild looks hunting for him .  “ Oh , Dodd !  Hardie wants you directly .  ”  “ Do n't you go , Edward , ” whispered Julia ; “ why should you be at Mr. Hardie 'sbeck and call ?  I never heard of such a thing .  That youth will make me hate him .  ”  “ Oh , I think I had better just go and see what it is about , ” replied Edward : “ I shall be back directly .  ” And on this understanding he went off with the men .  Half-an-hour passed ; an hour ; two hours , and he did not return .  Mrs. Dodd and Julia sat wondering what had become of him , and were looking all around , and getting uneasy , when at last they did hear something about him , but indirectly , and from an unexpected quarter .  A tall young man in a jersey and flannel trousers , and a little straw hat , with a purple rosette , came away from the bustle to the more secluded part where they sat , and made eagerly for the Thames as if he was a duck , and going in .  But at the brink he flung himself into a sitting posture , and dipped his white handkerchief into the stream , then tied it viciously round his brow , doubled himself up with his head in his hands , and rocked himself like an old woman — minus the patience , of course .  Mrs. Dodd and Julia , sitting but a few paces behind him , interchanged , a look of intelligence .  The young gentleman was a stranger ; but they had recognised a faithful old acquaintance at the bottom of his pantomime .  They discovered , too , that the afflicted one was a personage : for he had not sat there long when quite a little band of men came after him .  Observing his semi-circularity and general condition , they hesitated a moment ; and then one of them remonstrated eagerly .  : “ For Heaven 'ssake come back to the boat !  There is a crowd of all the colleges come round us ; and they all say Oxford is being sold .  We had a chance for the four-oared race , and you are throwing it away .  ”  “ What do I care what they all say ?  ” was the answer , delivered with a kind of plaintive snarl .  “ But we care .  ”  “ Care then !  I pity you .  ” And he turned his back fiercely on them , and then groaned by way of half apology .  Another tried him : “ Come , give us a civil answer , please .  ”  “ People that intrude upon a man 'sprivacy , racked with pain , have no right to demand civility , ” replied the sufferer , more gently , but sullenly enough .  “ Do you call this privacy ?  ”  “ It was , a minute ago .  Do you think I left the boat , and came here among the natives , for company ?  and noise ?  With my head splitting ?  ”  Here Julia gave Mrs. Dodd a soft pinch , to which Mrs. Dodd replied by a smile .  And so they settled who this petulant young invalid must be .  “ ' There , it is no use , ” observed one , sotto voce , “ the bloke really has awful headaches , like a girl , and then he always shuts up this way .  You will only rile him , and get the rough side of his tongue .  ”  Here , then , the conference drew towards a close .  But a Wadham man , who was one of the ambassadors , interposed .  “ Stop a minute , ” said he .  “ Mr. Hardie , I have not the honour to be acquainted with you , and I am not here to annoy you , nor to be affronted by you .  But the university has a stake in this race , and the university expostulates through us — through me , if you like .  ”  “ Who have I the honour ?  ” inquired Hardie , assuming politeness sudden and vast .  “ Badham , of Wadham .  ”  “ Badham o 'Wadham ?  Hear that , ye tuneful nine !  Well , Badham o 'Wadham , you are no acquaintance of mine ; so you may possibly not be a fool .  Let us assume by way of hypothesis that you are a man of sense , a man of reason as well as of rhyme .  Then follow my logic .  Hardie of Exeter is a good man in a boat when he has not got a headache .  “ When he has got a headache , Hardie of Exeter is not worth a straw in a boat .  “ Hardie of Exeter has a headache now .  “ Ergo , the university would put the said Hardie into a race , headache and all , and reduce defeat to a certainty .  “ And , ergo , on the same premises , I , not being an egotist , nor an ass , have taken Hardie of Exeter and his headache out of the boat , as I should have done any other cripple .  “ Secondly , I have put the best man on the river into this cripple 'splace .  “ Total , I have given the university the benefit of my brains ; and the university , not having brains enough to see what it gains by the exchange , turns again and rends me , like an animal frequently mentioned in Scripture ; but , nota bene , never once with approbation .  ”  And the afflicted Rhetorician attempted a diabolical grin , but failed signally ; and groaned instead .  “ Is this your answer to the university , sir ?  ”  At this query , delivered in a somewhat threatening tone , the invalid sat up all in a moment , like a poked lion .  “ Oh , if Badham o ' Wadham thinks to crush me auctoritate sua et totius universitatis , Badham o ' Wadham may just tell the whole university to go and be d — — d , from the Chancellor down to the junior cook at Skimmery Hall , with my compliments .  ”  “ Ill-conditioned brute !  ” muttered Badham of Wadham .  “ Serve you right if the university were to chuck you into the Thames .  ” And with this comment they left him to his ill temper .  One remained ; sat quietly down a little way off , struck a sweetly aromatic lucifer , and blew a noisome cloud ; but the only one which betokens calm .  As for Hardie , he held his aching head over his knees , absorbed in pain , and quite unconscious that sacred pity was poisoning the air beside him , and two pair of dovelike eyes resting on him with womanly concern .  Mrs. Dodd and Julia had heard the greatest part of this colloquy .  They had terribly quick ears and nothing better to do with them just then .  Indeed , their interest was excited .  Julia went so far as to put her salts into Mrs. Dodd 'shand with a little earnest look .  But Mrs. Dodd did not act upon the hint .  She had learned who the young man was : had his very name been strange to her , she would have been more at her ease with him .  Moreover , his rudeness to the other men repelled her a little .  Above all , he had uttered a monosyllable and a stinger : a thorn of speech not in her vocabulary , nor even in society 's.  Those might be his manners , even when not aching .  Still , it seems , a feather would have turned the scale in his favour , for she whispered , “ I have a great mind ; if I could but catch his eye .  ”  While feminine pity and social reserve were holding the balance so nicely , and nonsensically , about half a split straw , one of the racing four-oars went down close under the Berkshire bank .  “ London !  ” observed Hardie 'sadherent .  “ What , are you there , old fellow ?  ” murmured Hardie , in a faint voice .  “ Now , that is like a friend , a real friend , to sit by me , and not make a row .  Thank you !  thank you !  ”  Presently the Cambridge four-oar passed : it was speedily followed by the Oxford ; the last came down in mid-stream , and Hardie eyed it keenly as it passed .  “ There , ” he cried , “ was I wrong ?  There is a swing for you ; there is a stroke .  I did not know what a treasure I had got sitting behind me .  ”  The ladies looked , and lo !  the lauded Stroke of the four-oar was their Edward .  “ Sing out and tell him it is not like the sculls .  We must fight for the lead at starting , and hold it with his eyelids when he has got it .  ”  The adherent bawled this at Edward , and Edward 'sreply came ringing back in a clear , cheerful voice , “ We mean to try all we know .  ”  “ What is the odds ?  ” inquired the invalid faintly .  “ Even on London ; two to one against Cambridge ; three to one against us .  ”  “ Take all my tin and lay it on , ” sighed the sufferer .  “ Fork it out , then .  Hallo !  eighteen pounds ?  Fancy having eighteen pounds at the end of term .  I 'llget the odds up at the bridge directly .  Here 'sa lady offering you her smelling-bottle .  ”  Hardie rose and turned round , and sure enough there were two ladies seated in their carriage at some distance , one of whom was holding him out three pretty little things enough , a little smile , a little blush , and a little cut-glass bottle with a gold cork .  The last panegyric on Edward had turned the scale .  Hardie went slowly up to the side of the carriage , and took off his hat to them with a half-bewildered air .  Now that he was so near , his face showed very pale ; the more so that his neck was a good deal tanned ; his eyelids were rather swollen , and his young eyes troubled and almost filmy with the pain .  The ladies saw , and their gentle bosoms were touched : they had heard of him as a victorious young Apollo trampling on all difficulties of mind and body ; and they saw him wan , and worn , with feminine suffering : the contrast made him doubly interesting .  Arrived at the side of the carriage , he almost started at Julia 'sbeauty .  It was sun-like , and so were her two lovely earnest eyes , beaming soft pity on him with an eloquence he had never seen in human eyes before ; for Julia 'swere mirrors of herself ; they did nothing by halves .  He looked at her and her mother , and blushed , and stood irresolute , awaiting their commands .  This sudden contrast to his petulance with his own sex paved the way .  “ You have a sad headache , sir , ” said Mrs. Dodd ; “ oblige me by trying my salts .  ”  He thanked her in a low voice .  “ And , mamma , ” inquired Julia , “ ought he to sit in the sun ?  ”  “ Certainly not .  You had better sit there , sir , and profit by our shade and our parasols .  ”  “ Yes , mamma , but you know the real place where he ought to be is Bed .  ”  “ Oh , pray do n't say that , ” implored the patient .  But Julia continued , with unabated severity , “ And that is where he would go this minute , if I was his mamma .  ”  “ Instead of his junior , and a stranger , ” said Mrs. Dodd , somewhat coldly , dwelling with a very slight monitory emphasis on the “ stranger .  ”  Julia said nothing , but drew in perceptibly , and was dead silent ever after .  “ Oh , madam !  ” said Hardie eagerly , “ I do not dispute her authority , nor yours .  You have a right to send me where you please , after your kindness in noticing my infernal head , and doing me the honour to speak to me , and lending me this .  But if I go to bed , my head will be my master .  Besides , I shall throw away what little chance I have of making your acquaintance ; and the race just coming off !  ”  “ We will not usurp authority , sir , ” said Mrs. Dodd quietly ; “ but we know what a severe headache is , and should be glad to see you sit still in the shade , and excite yourself as little as possible .  ”  “ Yes , madam , ” said the youth humbly , and sat down like a lamb .  He glanced now and then at the island , and now and then peered up at the radiant young mute beside him .  The silence continued till it was broken by — a fish out of water .  An undergraduate in spectacles came mooning along , all out of his element .  It was Mr. Kennet , who used to rise at four every morning to his Plato , and walk up Shotover Hill every afternoon , wet or dry , to cool his eyes for his evening work .  With what view he deviated to Henley has not yet been ascertained .  He was blind as a bat , and did not care a button about any earthly boat-race , except the one in the AEneid , even if he could have seen one .  However , nearly all the men of his college went to Henley , and perhaps some branch , hitherto unexplored , of animal magnetism drew him after .  At any rate , there was his body ; and his mind at Oxford and Athens , and other venerable but irrelevant cities .  He brightened at sight of his doge , and asked him warmly if he had heard the news .  “ No : what ?  Nothing wrong , I hope ?  ”  “ Why , two of our men are ploughed ; that is all , ” said Kennet , affecting with withering irony to undervalue his intelligence .  “ Confound it , Kennet , how you frightened me !  I was afraid there was some screw loose with the crew .  ”  At this very instant , the smoke of the pistol was seen to puff out from the island , and Hardie rose to his feet .  “ They are off !  ” cried he to the ladies , and after first putting his palms together with a hypocritical look of apology , he laid one hand on an old barge that was drawn up ashore , and sprang like a mountain goat on to the bow , lighting on the very gunwale .  The position was not tenable an instant , but he extended one foot very nimbly and boldly , and planted it on the other gunwale ; and there he was in a moment , headache and all , in an attitude as large and inspired as the boldest gesture antiquity has committed to marble — he had even the advantage in stature over most of the sculptured forms of Greece .  But a double opera-glass at his eye “ spoiled the lot , ” as Mr. Punch says .  I am not to repeat the particulars of a distant race coming nearer and nearer .  The main features are always the same ; only this time it was more exciting to our fair friends , on account of Edward 'shigh stake in it .  And then their grateful though refractory patient , an authority in their eyes , indeed all but a river-god , stood poised in air , and in excited whispers interpreted each distant and unintelligible feature down to them :  “ Cambridge was off quickest .  ”  “ But not much .  ”  “ Anybody 'srace at present , madam .  ”  “ If this lasts long we may win .  None of them can stay like us .  ”  “ Come , the favourite is not so very dangerous .  ”  “ Cambridge looks best .  ”  “ I would n't change with either , so far .  ”  “ Now , in forty seconds more , I shall be able to pick out the winner .  ”  Julia went up this ladder of thrills to a high state of excitement ; and , indeed , they were all so tuned to racing pitch , that some metal nerve or other seemed to jar inside all three , when the piercing , grating voice of Kennet broke in suddenly with —  “ How do you construe γαστριμαργος ?  ”  The wretch had burrowed in the intellectual ruins of Greece the moment the pistol went off , and college chat ceased .  Hardie raised his opera-glass , and his first impulse was to brain the judicious Kennet , gazing up to him for an answer , with spectacles goggling like supernatural eyes of dead sophists in the sun .  “ How do you construe ' Hoc age '' ?  you incongruous dog .  Hold your tongue , and mind the race .  ”  “ There , I thought so .  Where 'syour three to one , now ?  The Cockneys are out of this event , any way .  Go on , Universities , and order their suppers !  ”  “ But which is first , sir ?  ” asked Julia imploringly .  “ Oh , which is first of all ?  ”  “ Neither .  Never mind ; it looks well .  London is pumped ; and if Cambridge ca n't lead him before this turn in the river , the race will be ours .  Now , look out !  By Jove , we are ahead ! ”  The leading boats came on , Oxford pulling a long , lofty , sturdy stroke , that seemed as if it never could compete with the quick action of its competitor .  Yet it was undeniably ahead , and gaining at every swing .  Young Hardie writhed on his perch .  He screeched at them across the Thames , “ Well pulled , Stroke !  Well pulled all !  Splendidly pulled , Dodd !  You are walking away from them altogether .  Hurrah , Oxford for ever , hurrah !  ” The gun went off over the heads of the Oxford crew in advance , and even Mrs. Dodd and Julia could see the race was theirs .  “ We have won at last , ” cried Julia , all on fire , “ and fairly ; only think of that !  ”  Hardie turned round , grateful to beauty for siding with his university .  “ Yes , and the fools may thank me ; or rather my man , Dodd .  Dodd for ever !  Hurrah !  ”  At this climax even Mrs. Dodd took a gentle share in the youthful enthusiasm that was boiling around her , and her soft eyes sparkled , and she returned the fervid pressure of her daughter 'shand ; and both their faces were flushed with gratified pride and affection .  “ Dodd !  ” broke in “ the incongruous dog , ” with a voice just like a saw 's.  “ Dodd ?  Ah , that 'sthe man who is just ploughed for smalls .  ”  Ice has its thunderbolts .  CHAPTER II  WINNING boat-races was all very fine ; but a hundred such victories could not compensate Mr. Kennet 'sfemale hearers for one such defeat as he had announced — a defeat that , to their minds , carried disgrace .  Their Edward plucked !  At first they were benumbed , and sat chilled , with red cheeks , bewildered between present triumph and mortification at hand .  Then the colour ebbed out of their faces , and they encouraged each other feebly in whispers , “ Might it not be a mistake ?  ”  But unconscious Kennet robbed them of this timid hope .  He was now in his element , knew all about it , rushed into details , and sawed away all doubt from their minds .  The sum was this .  Dodd 'sgeneral performance was mediocre , but passable ; he was plucked for his Logic .  Hardie said he was very sorry for it .  “ What does it matter ?  ” answered Kennet ; “ he is a boating-man .  “ Well , and I am a boating-man .  Why , you told me yourself , the other day , poor Dodd was anxious about it on account of his friends .  And , by-the-bye , that reminds me they say he has got two pretty sisters here .  ”  Says Kennet briskly , “ I 'llgo and tell him ; I know him just to speak to .  ”  “ What !  does n't he know ?  ”  “ How can he know ?  ” said Kennet jealously ; “ the testamurs were only just out as I came away .  ” And within this he started on his congenial errand .  Hardie took two or three of his long strides , and fairly collared him .  “ You will do nothing of the kind .  ”  “ What , not tell a man when he 'sploughed ?  That is a good joke .  ”  “ No. There 'stime enough .  Tell him after chapel to-morrow , or in chapel if you must ; but why poison his triumphal cup ?  And his sisters , too , why spoil their pleasure ?  Hang it all , not a word about ' ploughing ' to any living soul to-day .  ”  To his surprise , Kennet 'sface expressed no sympathy , nor even bare assent .  At this Hardie lost patience , and burst out impetuously , “ Take care how you refuse me ; take care how you thwart me in this .  He is the best-natured fellow in college .  It does n't matter to you , and it does to him ; and if you do , then take my name off the list of your acquaintance , for I 'llnever speak a word to you again in this world ; no , not on my death-bed , by Heaven !  ”  The threat was extravagant ; but Youth 'sglowing cheek and eye , and imperious lip , and simple generosity , made it almost beautiful .  Kennet whined , “ Oh , if you talk like that , there is an end to fair argument .  ”  “ End it then , and promise me ; upon your honour !  ”  “ Why not ?  What bosh !  There , I promise .  Now , how do you construe κυμινοπιστης ?  ”  The incongruous dog ( “ I thank thee , Taff , for teaching me that word ” ) put this query with the severity of an inquisitor bringing back a garrulous prisoner to the point .  Hardie replied gaily , “ Any way you like , now you are a good fellow again .  ”  “ Come , that is evasive .  My tutor says it cannot be rendered by any one English word ; no more can γαστριμαργος .  ”  “ Why , what on earth can he know about English ?  γαστριμαργος is a Cormorant : κυμινοπιστης is a Skinflint ; and your tutor is a Duffer .  Hush !  keep dark now !  here he comes .  ” And he went hastily to meet Edward Dodd : and by that means intercepted him on his way to the carriage .  “ Give me your hand , Dodd , ” he cried ; “ you have saved the university .  You must be stroke of the eight-oar after me .  Let me see more of you than I have , old fellow .  ”  “ Within all my heart , ” replied Edward calmly , but taking the offered hand cordially ; though he rather wanted to get away to his mother and sister .  “ We will pull together , and read together into the bargain , ” continued Hardie .  “ Read together ?  You and I ?  What do you mean ?  ”  “ Well , you see I am pretty well up in the Imigliner books ; what I have got to rub up is my Divinity and my Logic — especially my Logic .  Will you grind Logic with me ?  Say ' Yes , ' for I know you will keep your word .  ”  “ It is too good an offer to refuse , Hardie ; but now I look at you , you are excited : wonderfully excited : within the race , eh ?  Now , just — you — wait — quietly — till next week , and then , if you are so soft as to ask me in cool blood — — ”  “ Wait a week ?  ” cried the impetuous youth .  “ No , not a minute .  It is settled .  There , we cram Logic together next term .  ”  And he shook Edward 'shand again with glistening eyes and an emotion that was quite unintelligible to Edward ; but not to the quick , sensitive spirits , who sat but fifteen yards off .  “ You really must excuse me just now , ” said Edward , and ran to the carriage , and put out both hands to the fair occupants .  They kissed him eagerly , with little tender sighs ; and it cost them no slight effort not to cry publicly over “ the beloved , ” “ the victorious , ” “ the ploughed .  ”  Young Hardie stood petrified .  What ?  These ladies Dodd 'ssisters .  Why , one of them had called the other mamma .  Good heavens !  all his talk in their hearing had been of Dodd ; and Kennet and he between them had let out the very thing he wanted to conceal , especially from Dodd 'srelations .  He gazed at them , and turned hot to the very forehead .  Then , not knowing what to do or say , and being after all but a clever boy , not a cool , “ never unready ” man of the world , he slipped away , blushing .  Kennet followed , goggling .  Left to herself , Mrs. Dodd would have broken the bad news to Edward at once , and taken the line of consoling him under her own vexation : it would not have been the first time that she had played that card .  But young Mr. Hardie had said it would be unkind to poison Edward 'sday : and it is sweet woman 'snature to follow suit ; so she and Julia put bright faces on , and Edward passed a right jocund afternoon with them .  He was not allowed to surprise one of the looks they interchanged to relieve their secret mortification .  But , after dinner , as the time drew near for him to go back to Oxford , Mrs. Dodd became silent , and a little distraite ; and at last drew her chair away to a small table , and wrote a letter .  In directing it she turned it purposely , so that Julia could catch the address : “ Edward Dodd , Esq. , Exeter College , Oxford . ”  Julia was naturally startled at first , and her eye roved almost comically to and fro the letter and its Destination , seated calm and unconscious of woman 'sbeneficent wiles .  But her heart soon divined the mystery : it was to reach him the first thing in the morning , and spare him the pain of writing the news to them ; and , doubtless , so worded as not to leave him a day in doubt of their forgiveness and sympathy .  Julia took the missive unobserved by the Destination , and glided out of the room to get it quietly posted .  The servant-girl was waiting on the second-floor lodgers , and told her so , with a significant addition , viz. , that the post was in this street , and only a few doors off .  Julia was a little surprised at her coolness , but took the hint with perfect good temper , and just put on her shawl and bonnet , and went with it herself .  The post-office was not quite so near as represented ; but she was soon there , for she was eager till she had posted it .  But she came back slowly and thoughtfully ; here in the street , lighted only by the moon , and an occasional gaslight , there was no need for self-restraint , and soon her mortification betrayed itself in her speaking countenance .  And to think that her mother , on whom she doted , should have to write to her son , there present , and post the letter !  This made her eyes fill , and before she reached the door of the lodging , they were brimming over .  As she put her foot on the step , a timid voice addressed her in a low tone of supplication .  “ May I venture to speak one word to you , Miss Dodd ?  — one single word ?  ”  She looked up surprised ; and it was young Mr. Hardie .  His tall figure was bending towards her submissively , and his face , as well as his utterance , betrayed considerable agitation .  And what led to so unusual a rencontre between a young gentleman and lady who had never been introduced ?  “ The Tender Passion , ” says a reader of many novels .  Why , yes ; the tenderest in all our nature :  Wounded Vanity .  Naturally proud and sensitive , and inflated by success and flattery , Alfred Hardie had been torturing himself ever since he fled Edward 'sfemale relations .  He was mortified to the core .  He confounded “ the fools ” ( his favourite synonym for his acquaintance ) for going and calling Dodd 'smother an elder sister , and so not giving him a chance to divine her .  And then that he , who prided himself on his discrimination , should take them for ladies of rank , or , at all events , of the highest fashion and , climax of humiliation , that so great a man as he should go and seem to court them by praising Dodd of Exeter , by enlarging upon Dodd of Exeter , by offering to grind Logic with Dodd of Exeter .  Who would believe that this was a coincidence , a mere coincidence ?  They could not be expected to believe it ; female vanity would not let them .  He tingled , and was not far from hating the whole family ; so bitter a thing is that which I have ventured to dub “ The Tenderest Passion .  ” He itched to soothe his irritation by explaining to Edward .  Dodd was a frank , good-hearted fellow ; he would listen to facts , and convince the ladies in turn .  Hardie learned where Dodd 'sparty lodged , and waited about the door to catch him alone : Dodd must be in college by twelve , and would leave Henley before ten .  He waited till he was tired of waiting .  But at last the door opened ; he stepped forward , and out tripped Miss Dodd .  “ Confound it !  ” muttered Hardie , and drew back .  However , he stood and admired her graceful figure and action , her ladylike speed without bustling .  Had she come back at the same pace , he would never have ventured to stop her : on such a thread do things hang : but she returned very slowly , hanging her head .  Her look at him and his headache recurred to him — a look brimful of goodness .  She would do as well as Edward , better perhaps .  He yielded to impulse , and addressed her , but with all the trepidation of a youth defying the giant Etiquette for the first time in his life .  Julia was a little surprised and fluttered , but did not betray it ; she had been taught self-command by example , if not by precept .  “ Certainly , Mr. Hardie , ” said she , within a modest composure a young coquette might have envied under the circumstances .  Hardie had now only to explain himself ; but instead of that , he stood looking at her within silent concern .  The fair face she raised to him was wet with tears ; so were her eyes , and even the glorious eyelashes were fringed with that tender spray ; and it glistened in the moonlight .  This sad and pretty sight drove the vain but generous youth 'scalamity clean out of his head .  “ Why , you are crying !  Miss Dodd , what is the matter ?  I hope nothing has happened .  ”  Julia turned her head away a little fretfully , with a “ No , no !  ” But soon her natural candour and simplicity prevailed ; a simplicity not without dignity ; she turned round to him and looked him in the face .  “ Why should I deny it to you , sir , who have been good enough to sympathise with us ?  We are mortified , sadly mortified , at dear Edward 'sdisgrace ; and it has cost us a struggle not to disobey you , and poison his triumphal cup with sad looks .  And mamma had to write to him , and console him against to-morrow : but I hope he will not feel it so severely as she does : and I have just posted it myself , and , when I thought of our dear mamma being driven to such expedients , I — Oh !  ” And the pure young heart , having opened itself by words , must flow a little more .  “ Oh , pray do n't cry , ” said young Hardie tenderly ; “ do n't take such a trifle to heart so .  You crying makes me feel guilty for letting it happen .  It shall never occur again .  If I had only known , it should never have happened at all .  ”  “ Once is enough , ” sighed Julia .  “ Indeed , you take it too much to heart .  It is only out of Oxford a plough is thought much of ; especially a single one ; that is so very common .  You see , Miss Dodd , an university examination consists of several items : neglect but one , and Crichton himself would be ploughed ; because brilliancy in your other papers is not allowed to count ; that is how the most distinguished man of our day got ploughed for Smalls .  I had a narrow escape , I know , for one .  But , Miss Dodd , if you knew how far your brother 'sperformance on the river outweighs a mere slip in the schools , in all university men 'seyes , the dons 'and all , you would not make this bright day end sadly to Oxford by crying .  Why , I could find you a thousand men who would be ploughed to-morrow with glory and delight to win one such race as your brother has won two .  ”  Julia sighed again .  But it sounded now half like a sigh of relief — the final sigh , with which the fair consent to be consoled .  And indeed this improvement in the music did not escape Hardie .  He felt he was on the right tack : he enumerated fluently , and by name , many good men , besides Dean Swift , who had been ploughed , yet had cultivated the field of letters in their turn ; and , in short , he was so earnest and plausible , that something like a smile hovered about his hearer 'slips , and she glanced askant at him with furtive gratitude from under her silky lashes .  But it soon recurred to her that this was rather a long interview to accord to “ a stranger , ” and under the moon ; so she said a little stiffly , “ And was this what you were good enough to wish to say to me , Mr. Hardie ?  ”  “ No , Miss Dodd , to be frank , it was not .  My motive in addressing you , without the right to take such a freedom , was egotistical .  I came here to clear myself ; I — I was afraid you must think me a humbug , you know .  ”  “ I do not understand you , indeed .  ”  “ Well , I feared you and Mrs. Dodd might think I praised Dodd so , and did what little I did for him , knowing who you were , and wishing to curry favour with you by all that ; and that is so underhand and paltry a way of going to work , I should despise myself .  ”  “ Oh , Mr. Hardie , ” said the young lady , smiling , “ How foolish : why , of course , we knew you had no idea .  ”  “ Indeed I had not ; but how could you know it ?  ”  “ Why , we saw it .  Do you think we have no eyes ?  Ah , and much keener ones than gentlemen have .  It is mamma and I who are to blame , if anybody ; we ought to have declared ourselves : it would have been more generous , more — manly .  But we cannot all be gentlemen , you know .  It was so sweet to hear Edward praised by one who did not know us ; it was like stolen fruit ; and by one whom others praise : so , if you can forgive us our slyness , there is an end of the matter .  ”  “ Forgive you ?  you have taken a thorn out of my soul .  ”  “ Then I am so glad you summoned courage to speak to me without ceremony .  Mamma would have done better , though ; but after all , do not I know her ?  my mamma is all goodness and intelligence .  And be assured , sir , she does you justice ; and is quite sensible of your disinterested kindness to dear Edward .  ” With this she was about to retire .  “ Ah !  But you , Miss Dodd ?  with whom I have taken this unwarrantable liberty ?  ” said Hardie imploringly .  “ Me , Mr. Hardie ?  You do me the honour to require my opinion of your performances : including of course this self-introduction ?  ”  Hardie hung his head ; there was a touch of satire in the lady 'svoice , he thought .  Her soft eyes rested demurely on him a moment ; she saw he was a little abashed .  “ My opinion of it all is that you have been very kind to us ; in being most kind to our poor Edward .  I never saw , nor read of anything more generous , more manly .  And then so thoughtful , so considerate , so delicate !  So instead of criticising you , as you seem to expect , his sister only blesses you , and thanks you from the very bottom of her heart .  ”  She had begun within a polite composure borrowed from mamma ; but , once launched , her ardent nature got the better : her colour rose and rose , and her voice sank and sank , and the last words came almost in a whisper ; and such a lovely whisper : a gurgle from the heart ; and , as she concluded , her delicate hand came sweeping out with a heaven-taught gesture of large and sovereign cordiality , that made even the honest words and the divine tones more eloquent .  It was too much ; the young man , ardent as herself , and not , in reality , half so timorous , caught fire ; and seeing a white , eloquent hand rather near him , caught it , and pressed his warm lips on it in mute adoration and gratitude .  At this she was scared and offended .  “ Oh ; keep that for the Queen !  ” cried she , turning scarlet , and tossing her fair head into the air , like a startled stag ; and she drew her hand away quickly and decidedly , though not roughly .  He stammered a lowly apology — in the very middle of it she said quietly , “ Good-bye , Mr. Hardie , ” and swept , with a gracious little curtsey , through the doorway , leaving him spell-bound .  And so the virginal instinct of self-defence carried her off swiftly and cleverly .  But none too soon ; for , on entering the house , that external composure her two mothers Mesdames Dodd and Nature had taught her , fell from her like a veil , and she fluttered up the stairs to her own room with hot cheeks , and panted there like some wild thing that has been grasped at and grazed .  She felt young Hardie 'slips upon the palm of her hand plainly ; they seemed to linger there still ; it was like light but live velvet .  This , and the ardent look he had poured into her eyes , set the young creature quivering .  Nobody had looked at her so before , and no young gentleman had imprinted living velvet on her hand .  She was alarmed , ashamed , and uneasy .  What right had he to look at her like that ?  What shadow of a right to go and kiss her hand ?  He could not pretend to think she had put it out to be kissed ; ladies put forth the back of the hand for that , not the palm .  The truth was he was an impudent fellow , and she hated him now , and herself too , for being so simple as to let him talk to her : mamma would not have been so imprudent when she was a girl .  She would not go down , for she felt there must be something of this kind legibly branded on her face : “ Oh !  oh !  just look at this young lady !  She has been letting a young gentleman kiss the palm of her hand ; and the feel has not gone off yet ; you may see that by her cheeks .  ”  But then , poor Edward !  she must go down .  So she put a wet towel to her tell-tale cheeks , and dried them by artistic dabs , avoiding friction , and came downstairs like a mouse , and turned the door-handle noiselessly , and glided into the sitting-room looking so transparent , conscious , and all on fire with beauty and animation , that even Edward was startled , and , in a whisper , bade his mother observe what a pretty girl she was : “ Beats all the country girls in a canter .  ” Mrs. Dodd did look ; and , consequently , as soon as ever Edward was gone to Oxford , she said to Julia , “ You are feverish , love ; you have been excited with all this .  You had better go to bed .  ”  Julia complied willingly ; for she wanted to be alone and think .  She retired to her own room , and went the whole day over again ; and was happy and sorry , exalted and uneasy , by turns ; and ended by excusing Mr. Hardie 'sescapade , and throwing the blame on herself .  She ought to have been more distant ; gentlemen were not expected , nor indeed much wanted , to be modest .  A little assurance did not misbecome them .  “ Really , I think it sets them off , ” said she to herself .  Grand total : “ What must he think of me ?  ”  Time gallops in reverie : the town clock struck twelve , and with its iron tongue remorse entered her youthful conscience .  Was this obeying mamma ?  Mamma had said , “ Go to bed : ” not , “ Go upstairs and meditate : upon young gentlemen .  ” She gave an expressive shake of her fair shoulders , like a swan flapping the water off its downy wings , and so dismissed the subject from her mind .  Then she said her prayers .  Then she rose from her knees , and in tones of honey said , “ Puss !  puss !  pretty puss !  ” and awaited a result .  Thieves and ghosts she did not believe in , yet credited cats under beds , and thought them neither “ harmless ” nor “ necessary ” there .  After tenderly evoking the dreaded and chimerical quadruped , she proceeded none the less to careful research , especially of cupboards .  The door of one resisted , and then yielded with a crack , and blew out the candle .  “ There now , ” said she .  It was her only light , except her beauty .  They allotted each Hebe but one candle , in that ancient burgh .  “ Well , ” she thought , “ there is moonlight enough to un dress by .  ” She went to draw back one of the curtains ; but in the act she started back with a little scream .  There was a tall figure over the way watching the house .  The moon shone from her side of the street full on him , and in that instant her quick eye recognised Mr. Hardie .  “ Well !  ” said she aloud , and with an indescribable inflexion ; and hid herself swiftly in impenetrable gloom .  But , after a while , Eve 'sdaughter must have a peep .  She stole with infinite caution to one side of the curtain , and made an aperture just big enough for one bright eye .  Yes , there he was , motionless .  “ I 'lltell mamma , ” said she to him , malignantly , as if the sound could reach him .  Unconscious of the direful threat , he did not budge .  She was unaffectedly puzzled at this phenomenon ; and , not being the least vain , fell to wondering whether he played the nightly sentinel opposite every lady 'swindow who exchanged civilities within him .  “ Because , if he does , he is a fool , ” said she , promptly .  But on reflection , she felt sure he did nothing of the kind habitually , for he had too high an opinion of himself ; she had noted that trait in him at a very early stage .  She satisfied herself , by cautious examination , that he did not know her room .  He was making a temple of the whole lodging .  “ How ridiculous of him !  ” Yet he appeared to be happy over it ; there was an exalted look in his moonlit face ; she seemed now first to see his soul there .